Thinking like humans, we latch on to a solution to many challenges and then try to use it even when it isn’t appropriate.

Interpersonal communications and people relationships still call for old-fashioned conversation. To make an appointment with you, I can suggest a time, place, and agenda for our meeting via e-mail. Our electronic interchange can do part of the work of supporting an already developed relationship or beginning a new one and lay the groundwork for our face-to-face meeting. After that it has limitations. In a well-established relationship it may do for a while. In a new one, especially, our understanding of each other suffers from the lack of facial expressions, vocal inflections and other body language. Missing, too, is the immediate feedback and response we barely notice at the time. The circle of constant feedback enriches our understanding of the other person and of the message we are receiving.

Two business acquaintances or an established work group need the opportunities to talk on the phone or in person, to get better acquainted, to give feedback, to establish and maintain a relationship. In organizations and in our personal lives, we sometimes speak of the futility of throwing money at a problem.

Buying computers is one way to make this mistake. We hope that because we bought a new computer system, we will communicate with each other effectively, get better organized, schedule work and get more done. We believe problems will be solved or at least become less serious. Computers can be used by people to solve problems of transferring information and organization. But, the people have to make it work. And so we often need go back to the methods we knew all along: in-person problem-solving, planning, feedback and relationship building. Part of the planning and decision making is how to best use technology and when not to rely on it.

Buying and using computers can make a business more productive if people

• choose well for the situation

• know how to take full advantage of their capabilities

• understand the limitations of computers

• maintain existing interpersonal relationships, combining electronic and personal contact

• develop new relationships in person

• become comfortable with the technology

Comfort. We laughed when, some years ago, IBM ran an ad that showed a woman hugging her IBM Selectrix as a technician approached with a brand new PC to install for her use. People who have used now out-of-date equipment for many years are asked to switch to the newest version of electronic wonders! They can and do adapt. While some new users of computers seem to just sit down and start creating documents, many need the support of the trail blazers and plenty of training and on-going assistance to navigate the transition.

Even among computer users, some less advanced users feel embarrassed to reveal to the experts what they don’t know. They can discipline themselves to go ahead and ask for help. On the other side of that interaction, the knowledgeable users can cultivate an attitude in themselves of being helpful and encouraging. A habit of reinforcing and praising the person who is learning for small gains is productive. An answer (maybe one word or phrase) from an experienced user may save the novice hours. Productive here refers to work output and relationships.

Relationships. Managers report that amazingly, many otherwise polite business people tend to become blunt to the point of rudeness in e-mail. On the phone or face-to-face, they speak with tact. Why? Apparently, because it’s impersonal and it’s so easy to hit the Send button before checking over it to think about how it sounds. Remember that there is still another human being at the end of the transmission. In person, we have the other person’s body language to tell us if we are getting vague or heavy-handed. Even on the phone, we have some nonverbal feedback and immediate verbal response. When we write a letter, we can reread it before printing it out and mailing it. We could do the same with e-mail—reread it— but we often don’t. Relationships and productivity may suffer when we forget.

Feedback. Whether to give constructive feedback via e-mail raises a lively discussion among coworkers. When facilitating a course on interpersonal feedback for a group of managers, I expressed a preference for feedback being given in person, at least on the phone. The participants then described how they had discussed this issue at length in their departments. About half of the groups had come to the conclusion that e-mail feedback followed by in person discussion a few days later suits them. The other groups preferred that feedback be in person from the beginning. Actually, both groups are doing something right. They are discussing and planning how they will give feedback!