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Think back over some of your most memorable business relationships. What makes them stick in your mind? For me, my closest long term business relationships were the ones that were built around meaningful and thought provoking discussions where I really got to know peers, mentors and staff. Most often these conversations one-on-one and before or after work. The conversations weren’t about sports or family or kids for the most part, but we did share a lot personal information.

As I look back over the years these relationships were part of my maturity building process. I learned I could disagree—agreeably. I learned I could be forceful. I grew to understand how to get things done in a corporate structure, learned about the corporate ladder and getting head and staying ahead. I also learned how to deal with the death of coworkers and the pain of telling an employee his wife had just been raped. Through my experiences I’ve learned to take the next step and the next step. In several situations it was about what I did to temper my drive, learn to listen, and seek to understand before judging. Once I was talking to my manager and we were reflecting on some of my more aggressive behaviors—I felt so bad I got up and changed chairs not wanting to be the person he was taking about. I learned most from individuals who had the courage to say what had to be said and trusting that they meant only to help me. Slowing down or quitting were not the lessons shared in our discussions; facing issues directly was the only effective approach. I look back with fond memories and I’m very grateful to those that took the time to share their stories, praise and constructive feedback with me. Through meaningful dialog situations I continue to grow personally. I’m who I am because of the few people who care about me.

I wonder if these mentoring dialogs take place in business today? Is the next generation being developed to pass on the gift of building meaningful relationships? To say what has to be said to that young aggressive manager, to the manager that does not set an effective example, and to the employee about their future.